In May and June of 2009, I exchanged emails with my wife’s dear and long-time friend Monica as she explored the jhanas, the Witness, and primordial awareness (1st, 2nd, and 3rd Gears of the 3-Speed Transmission). Monica is an unusually dedicated and accomplished practitioner with decades of experience. This chronicle is dense with information, but diligent dharma prospectors will find it a gold mine of valuable information and practice tips. Happy digging!

Kenneth Folk, September, 2009

On May 26th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

I am not yet sure as I write this that I will send this letter.I hope so but till its done who knows? As William and I talked this morning I realized the gift your recent letter popping into our lives has created. We have needed to reach outside of ourselves but didn't really know how to do that.

Since re-meeting you, as I have said before, our practices have a fire under them. I feel a need to run some things by you. I am too alone with this out here. I have not finished the insight process and am probably definitely now deep into it once again. This time around though, I would love a guide. So for that help, I am writing this.

For me it has been reaching an almost overwhelming intensity with some bleed-through into regular life. I am known as a rather intense person. What that feels like on the inside is a huge amount of raw energy that is often more than this entity has a clue how to be with. For the last number of years it has just been learning equanimity and awareness practices. That part is pretty good now but with the increased intensity of practice the feeling of the energy or the energy itself has increased. I have a constant burning sensation under all the skin over most of my body. It ebbs and flows throughout the day and night. That has been a constant for almost the last 10 years since whatever awakening I had at that point. It was a major one/perhaps two. This burning has increased these last 5 months. While unpleasant, it is quite workable. There is now a real block in the solar plexus/heart part of my back/ frequent pain there, unrelieved by chiropractic or acupuncture for last several months. And a feeling of intensity of behavior in everything I do. I would say many people would call me "a bit much" at this point. Everything feels do ordie. Even simple little things like doing the homework for a course I’m taking. The intensity of my mind makes what I do so convoluted that the poor teacher yesterday did not have a clue what I was trying to say. Oie! Even I sometimes do not know what my mind is doing when it if full of this energy. I have learned to not be so afraid of the seeming "madness" moments. That helps a lot and I have seen it so often that I know it passes sooner or later. But this too, while here for many years, has increased these last months.

If I can self-diagnose I would say another Path is desiring fruition. I would say just keep doing what I am doing and hang in there. Practicing non-distracted meditation in the morning and attempting awareness the rest of life. Need occasional reminders to back off a little and just relax! And do some more painting. Am painting my very first self-portrait as a birthday present for William. How ironic the real world is! Losing self while painting permanent reminder of self! Hummm. Any guidance here dear new friend will be deeply appreciated. Decided somewhere in here that I would send this.

Love to my beloved Beth and to you,

Monica

On May 29th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Hi Monica,

OK, let's get to work.

I have a constant burning sensation under all the skin over most of my body. It ebbs and flows throughout the day and night. That has been a constant for almost the last 10 years since whatever awakening i had at that point. It was a major one/perhaps two. This burning has increased these last 5 months.
At this point we don't exactly know what to call this or where to place it on the map, but we know that it is a kundalini phenomenon and as such will respond to further progress through the ñanas.

I have not finished the insight process and am probably definitely now deep into it once again.
Right, and this is relevant because the burning sensation, I'm convinced, is stage-specific. So, with the understanding that reaching the next stage will likely bring an end to this particular phenomenon while also bringing a host of benefits, we can begin to identify goals. Clear goals will help us in determining the best plan of action and modifying the plan as needed to keep moving toward the goals.

Here are some tentative goals for you to accept, modify, reject, as you see fit:

1. Move out of the burning phase.
2. Continue along the Progress of Insight with the aim of completing the physio-energetic circuit (arahatship) so that you can do the really fun post-arahat practices!
3. Master the four rupa (material) and arupa (immaterial) jhanas, because they are part and parcel of completing the circuit and because they are fun and interesting, and because knowing them inside-out will help you talk to your students about them.

Am I on the right track with these goals? If not, just dump them; you won't hurt my feelings. Then give me as clear an idea as you can of where you want to go from here.

Love,

Kenneth

On May 31, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Thank you for your response. The connection with you itself seems to open up a lock of separate sense of self. For that I am very grateful. So much of my practice these last several years has been in the alone mode and for that too I have been deeply grateful as the way the whole process guides itself has been deeply imbued.

The goals:

1. Move out of the burning phase.
2. Continue along the Progress of Insight with the aim of completing the physio-energetic circuit (arahatship) so that you can do the really fun post-arahat practices!
3. Master the four rupa (immaterial) and arupa (immaterial) jhanas, because they are part and parcel of completing the circuit and because they are fun and interesting, and because knowing them inside-out will help you talk to your students about them.

I relate quite well to the goals you wrote down, each one in a different way. I feel the more I share my thoughts with you, the more you will be able to spot the flows or hindrances that are operating at this stage. And hence guidance from you can be enhanced. So here goes a description of what arose when I first read and reread the proposed goals.

The first response to the first one was an enormous relief arose. I suspected when the burning started that it was a kundalini process that had stalled. I spoke to everyone I knew about it -Joseph, Carol Wilson, other vipassana teachers, Ajahn Suchitto, Surya Das and John Makransky. Nada, they would not address it or make any comments on it or they would sympathize but have no guidance of what to do with it and never corroborated it as connected to the insight process. Went to neurologists, GP's, acupuncture, chiropractic, homeopathics. Nothing helped. Gave up sorta and just started the process of learning to live with it.

Even yesterday morning before I read your e-mail, it was a predominant sensation in my meditation as it has been lately and part of the meditation is just softening around its edges as it ebbs and flows so there is room to notice more of the rest of what is happening. So while there is some capacity for equanimity around it there are still edges with it. When I reread that goal a bit later I noticed a clench in my body and the alert mind quickly turning to that and wondering, What was that? Then, watching the thoughts parade by and the responses in the body to those thoughts. The thought arose that “somehow I am so used to this I don't want it to change or go away." The body feeling connected with that thought was a smooth flow that my mind interpreted as "yeah, you are probably onto something here."

Another observation that occurred is the recognition that I am and have been adding future to the acceptance process of these sensations. Sorta having the idea that equanimity with these sensations means that I have to be at peace with the fact that it may last forever and endlessly trying to do this peacemaking with an idea. As opposed to keeping it as a moment to moment process only, as who or what knows what’s next? And of course therein probably lies the absurd fixation on needing to keep the burning sensations. So since then, any future thoughts of where this sensation process is going seem to be noticed now. What is seen now is that it will change. And the hopeful possibility of this burning just being a phase is a very soothing antidote to the weight I have been carrying that since it has been here so long it will always be this way. So yes this can be goal number 1 and it’s already in motion.

The second one is a complete and easy one. Actually made this vow/ intention very seriously and sacredly back in January/February when you got us hooked. And it is probably what has got you this job of helping us now. Seems to me the only future leaning that is useful is this sort of goal or intention setting. I usually use the word intention as it relates in Judaism to cavanah. It’s a way this small entity presents its side of what it feels it can do and wants to do to the BIGNESS out there which is already this smallness anyway. But it’s a very IMPORTANT part of what the little piece needs to do. And once that is done the leaning out usually needs to stop and remember its wisdom to follow is to be in the moment. So nothing more to say on this as it’s already been consecrated as the goal.

Goal number 3, Mastery of the jhanas. YES. I have been a minimalist jhana practitioner and more of a mindfulness practitioner. Once mindfulness is established I slip from concentration into insight practice. Usually open awareness to whatever....body, moods, thoughts, emotions, emptiness, rigpa. Truly whatever seems to present itself each day. Yesterday before I read your e-mail I was doing just jhana practice. Really looking at the switch from one level to the next. I did it because I was exhausted from a relatively tense overactive wired mind, energetic-wise, not particularly thought wise. Did it because I wanted some calm. It took an hour but went clearly into soft 1st jhana, the effort one, which about 10 minutes into it a good feel arose. Noticed it and knew I was in soft jhana 2. Remained there for another 10 minutes and the sense was something was "off". Missed that as the clue to jhana 3 and got caught up in some unpleasant body sensations and had to go back to effort again. Processed back through feeling good to the wobble of something off and saw it this time and innately started looking around the space surrounding the wobble. Relaxed into the space and the calm arose and I was happy. Got what I came for and then after a bit stopped meditation and went to the computer. A calmer state being a nice part of most of the rest of the day. So up to and including 4th jhana I am relatively good at evoking and knowing where I am. But 5-8 are not unknown territory and I can separate them but they are not yet well mapped for me at all as I have usually drifted into insight before I enter them. I need to find the materials you wrote to William describing this jhana work as it is not clearly in my mind yet. And any other ideas you have on what to do here next are very welcome.

A number of years ago I did much more concentration practice without having very good teachers/guides for this so never really knowing where I was. Now with the maps, I have a better idea. One six week retreat in 2000 at IMS turned out to be just concentration practice as I hurt my hip and could not leave my room so I just dug in and did it. I entered a calm, no or not much thought realm that was probably running through hard jhanas 5-8almost non-stop for over a week. I had neither map nor words but was just along for the ride. Carol and Josephwere myteachers that time and both did say "probably a jhana" but nothing else. We left that retreat to go on our first trip to Auschwitz. And while acclimating in Prague before going to Poland, I had the worst rushes of anger and rage (could have been masking fear) that I have ever had in my life. For days. I tried and sorta managed bleed-through to poor William but it was awful. To this day he loves Prague and all I can think of when I hear that word is the anger I felt which corresponded exactly to the incredible level of calm experienced the week before. Sometimes I am so glad I am compelled to do this work for I am not sure at times I would choose it again if I knew what was in store. Now years later am grateful for the knowing of what I think was a hard jhana experience.

OK. That is more than enough for now. So as you intuited the goals you stated are in total accord with mine. So till I hear from your again I will focus on just jhana practice and seeing about experiencing and knowing the 8 states.

Have a good week and please hug Beth for me. Love, Monica

On May 31st, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Hi Monica,

OK, this is fantastic. We have three clear goals, each of which has already been underway for some time, and the second of which has been formalized as a vow.

1. Move out of the burning phase.
2. Continue along the Progress of Insight with the aim of completing the physio-energetic circuit (arahatship).
3. Master the four rupa (immaterial) and four arupa (immaterial) jhanas.

All three of these goals work beautifully together and reinforce one another. Our next step is to come up with some strategies that will help us meet the goals. Here are some suggestions from my end, and I welcome any changes or additions you may have.

1. Regular communication. Ideally, you would send me a paragraph or two each day, detailing as concisely as possible what happened that day. Bare-bones, Mahasi-style reporting will serve us well. Here's an example of the format:

I sat with rising/falling of abdomen as object. After 3 minutes, I felt calm. Entered an altered state. Quiet exhilaration, pleasant tingling in legs, happiness, (whatever). It faded. Entered another state, (etc.)

Over a period of days and weeks, this will help me get a clear sense of what is going on and I can refine instructions based on your reports. A lot of brief daily reports give me a better picture than a few long reports.

2. As a starting place, let's work on the four parameters for mastery of jhana.
I. Adverting to (looking at) the jhana.
II. Entering the jhana.
III. Abiding in the jhana.
IV. Exiting the jhana.

Make a resolution to go to where the jhana lives in the mind. I think of this as a stratum of mind, or like a color of a rainbow (without the color), but you can think of it as a room, or an aspect of heaven, or you can just go directly there without the conceptual baggage. Hang out there but don't enter the jhana; it's as though you are standing outside a room looking in. This is adverting. Notice that you can zip around and advert to any jhana in any order without necessarily entering it. This is access consciousness and it is very flexible. From here you can do dry vipassana or enter jhana. By the way, the dry vipassana approach involves adverting to jhanas and exploring them via vipassana as they arise, but not entering them.

Resolve, early in the sitting, to advert to and then to enter 1st jhana five times during the sitting, abide in the jhana for 5 seconds, then exit cleanly. This exiting will feel forced and cruel at first, as your mind does not want to leave that pleasantness. Notice "complaining mind" and exit anyway, understanding that you can always go back in. In fact, it is the confidence that comes from entering and exiting jhanas at will that builds an unshakable platform for further exploration. Furthermore, adhittana/resolution is a skill that builds with practice, so the more often you stick to your formal resolutions the more the mind gets in the habit of following through. This is a huge asset, because it opens up the possibility of accomplishing things through adhittana that cannot be accomplished by conscious will. Some examples would be to attain a Path, or to dwell in nibbana for some amount of time, or to remain aware while asleep (clear light practice), etc. In fact, now that I think of it, this may be key to the passive awareness that William wrote about recently. You can't do passive awareness, but adhitthana can help you get out of the way so that it happens.

Do the same resolution (adhitthana) practice with the 2nd jhana, then the 3rd, etc. If all of this mechanistic practice seems to cheapen the jhanas, that's exactly what we want! You will come to see the jhanas as equal in status with a burp. With this kind of even handedness about pleasant, unpleasant, and neutral experiences, it's easier to explore whatever arises.

When this adverting, entering, abiding for 5 seconds, and exiting gets easy in all eight jhanas, extend the time of abiding in the jhana to 10 seconds, then 15, etc.

During any sitting, if the mind gets restless or anxious from all of this activity, abandon the jhana work and resolve to let yourself sink naturally to the cutting edge of your practice and rest there, alert. This will be a very dynamic situation, moving up and down through various levels of concentration. The mind knows how to gently push its edge of development once you determine to let that happen. But don't have the expectation that you will go deep and stay there, or that if you go deep and then "come up out of it," your session is finished and you're wasting your time. Allow time for the natural arc of concentration to ebb and flow, and trust that progress is being made.

OK, there's a lot here, Monica, and I'm eager to hear how this develops over the next few days and weeks. Keep me posted with regular brief updates and I'll probably send a few words to you each day in response. (If your reports are longer, I'll get overwhelmed and might not respond as often.)

Beth sends a big hug.

Love,

Kenneth

On June 1st, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Fabulous. Am on board with this. Did not read the e-mail till after meditation this am so short report is prior to your input but interestingly on the same page.

I set intention to enter as many jhanas as would arise. Is setting intention same as making the resolution? It feels the same but could be missing something. Took about 5 minutes to get through the winding down of some thinking. Passed slowly through one to four, noticing shift to first a settling into breath and body, mild effort needed, settled further into a sense of "this feels good" in gentle way, still feeling calm noticed burning arising, felt mind agitate slightly about it, no specific thoughts, knew to not fuss over the agitation, and it shifted into calm, burning moving into background, calm contentment in foreground. Then it got more vague from observer point of view, as a shift occurred to more sense of space and several minutes later another shift occurred into a different sort of spaciousness but a more verbal observer noticing that what was present was not empty and perceptions were definitely present so felt it was jhana 6 maybe. Rested there severalminutes and then literally the process backtracked distinctly through each place encountered beforein matter of a few minutes, noticing each jhana as it passedand landing back at just opening my eyes and ending the meditation. Whole time was about 1 hr 20 minutes. Tomorrow or later today will begin to work out and try your suggestions. Looking forward to all this.

May your day be fun. Love and thanks,

Monica

On June 1st, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Hi Monica,

Yes, setting intention and making resolution are the same. Nice job going up and back down the jhanic arc. Looking forward to next report. Notice the shift from lots of physicality to mostly mental phenomena as you transition for 4th to 5th jhana. That will help you keep your place, know where you are.

Kenneth

On June 2nd, 2009, Monica wrote:

wow great fun this morning! Definitely helpful info about shift from mental/physicality in 1st four, and mostly mental in last four. Had definitely seen that but not pulled it out into vocabulary.

Resolution very strong. Seems it is a known part/character/force within ascompared to the part /character /force or feel of "conscious will ". Definitely felt the growing knowing of both of these parts inside doing this practice. And there was a shift in yield in the Will part to the Resolution part. Nice!

Able to advert easily to all 8 jhanas without entering albeit entering happened naturally so had to stop that and stay out of the experience and move on.

Took on resolution to advert/enter/remain a very short while-about 5-10 seconds and leave for five times and then repeated the entire process including resolution for the next jhana.

Easy to do with jhana 1 and 2 and nothing special remembered.

Jhana 3- As adverting to it felt fear, clenching in my body, that passed, entered jhana. A relative calm: thought that the very OIE! factor I am feeling IS this jhana. Burning sensations arising, hard to leave this jhana and brought burning sensations out to ordinary consciousness when exited jhana. This pattern repeated each time but recognition of pattern rather illuminating.

Jhana4- easy to do this but noticed as was exiting was getting spacier and did not feel I was returning to ordinary consciousness completely.

Jhana 5-Energy rose up to back of my eyes; one of the entrys I hit either jhana 7 or 8, instead of 5. Next entrywas wandering around a little looking for it but then hit it and exited. Felt a bit more agitated. Fourth entry found 6, left it, tried to find 5 by going to 4, and did, so entered it and left it. Then actually did it several more times until I really got the feel for touching the jhana and leaving.

Jhana 6 First three entries OK but weak. Fourth entry very clear grok-ing of that strata. Fifth entry weaker but OK.

Jhana 7 All the energy was in the head. Head was leaning way over to looking up to upper left. Somehow surrendered the doing of this to "resolution.” It wandered in and out and felt hard for "me" to follow it. But felt that nothingness had been experienced quite a few seconds.

Jhana 8 Could not do this, even just relaxing into doing nothing but making the resolution.

Next just sat in resolution to let jhannas go to their natural edge. They wandered into and out of many of them and settled in at seeking and finding and settling into the space around the burning. I am guessing that is jhana 4.

That’s it for today.Feels like maybe too much reporting but am not yet sure what is important and what not so important. Blessings and thanks. Love,

Monica

On June 3rd, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

This is brilliant, Monica. Just keep doing it.

Kenneth

On June 3rd, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Same practice as yesterday.
Set resolution to advert to each jhana and not enter. Relatively easy to do and yet different from yesterday.

Set adhittana to advert. enter, remain a very short while--upped it to about 5 breaths andleave each jhana 5 times.

Jhana 1 : last three times could feel it wanting to shift to jhana 2 but left it instead each time.

Jhana 2 took two to three breathsto feel solidly connected each time so I remained in each one till I felt that connection and flow -about 10 seconds--literally as the body swaying slowly, then exited jhana.

Jhana 3 strongly locked onto either the breath or a sensation and then exited. 5th entry; locked onto skin sensations that were burning but with a very pleasant surrounding and exited

Overall noticed that breath was more the object today than yesterday where it was more the jhana itself as object.

Jhana 4 1st entry- an open mindfulness arose- fcous was larger and not so fixated on breath
4th and 5th entry- burning sensations were present and mind drifted to feeling spaciousness around them

Jhana 5 almost all energy felt in head and back of head
4th entry- very spacious pleasant
5th entry eyes rolling to top of head

Jhana 6 Thought noticed....."This one is my favorite jhana"!
1st entry space with strong "knower"--maybe a little "I ness" here
2nd entry feels familiar to "my regular good" mindfulness practice
3rd entry more expanded feel
4th entry pleasant sensations move to top of head
5th entry pleasant sensations around eyes, feel of drifty and dreamy

Jhana 7 1st- quieter, watcher faded
2nd- watcher fading not as easy
3rd- took a couple of minutes to enter, stay and leave
4th- took several minutes to enter and then the watcher became the sole object, disintegrated and nothing remained. Exited.

Noticed here there was a push pull in this jhana between conscious will and wanting to do this and adhittana. Felt the surrender to adhittanathe last two entries and that’s what nailed them. With this observation Isurrendered and did the entry easily the 5th time and got it and exited.

Jhana 8 very nebulous, seemed to require that complete surrender again to adhittana. Did that and went in and out 4 times but only"knew" it on the way out. 5th time in was known but not thought of---a brightness sorta.

Following, I just resolutioned to find the edge and it was a pleasant 20 minutes of wandering all over, hitting a wild energy burst and using jhana 1 to come down and chill out. That for me is an important learning as what got sealed is the separateness of each strata even though they connect with each other.

That’s it for today. Love, Monica

On June 3rd, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Good, clear report. Scroll down for comments. (Your words are in italics.)
Dear Kenneth,

Same practice as yesterday.
Set resolution to advert to each jhana and not enter. Relatively easy to do and yet different from yesterday.

Set adhittana to advert. enter, remain a very short while--upped it to about 5 breaths andleave each jhana 5 times.

Jhana 1 : last three times could feel it wanting to shift to jhana 2 but left it instead each time.

Yes, don't let it push you around. Once you make your formal resolution to exit after 5 breaths, stick to it. Nice. Also, good observation that it's possible to go directly from one jhana to another or to exit one and enter another.

Jhana 2 took two to three breathsto feel solidly connected each time so I remained in each one till I felt that connection and flow -about 10 seconds--literally as the body swaying slowly, then exited jhana.

Jhana 3 strongly locked onto either the breath or a sensation and then exited. 5th entry; locked onto skin sensations that were burning but with a very pleasant surrounding and exited

Overall noticed that breath was more the object today than yesterday where it was more the jhana itself as object.

Jhana 4 1st entry- an open mindfulness arose- fcous was larger and not so fixated on breath. 4th and 5th entry- burning sensations were present and mind drifted to feeling spaciousness around them.

Jhana 5 almost all energy felt in head and back of head
4th entry- very spacious pleasant
5th entry eyes rolling to top of head

Jhana 6 Thought noticed....."This one is my favorite jhana"!
1st entry space with strong "knower"--maybe a little "I ness" here
2nd entry feels familiar to "my regular good" mindfulness practice
3rd entry more expanded feel
4th entry pleasant sensationsmove to top of head
5th entry pleasant sensations around eyes, feel of drifty and dreamy

The "knower" from jhana 6/infinite consciousness looks to me just like the knower/witness in the "I AM" practice of advaita. The "I AM" or as I call it, the no-dog, is the practice that leads to the absolute non-dual experience of rigpa. So it's good to notice the knower in jhana 7, then look for that same knower or witness when you are walking around in daily life.

"When we consider the knower, independently from what is known, it reveals itself as pure witness. When knowing and knower are not-two, there is no place for a witness." -Jean Klein (my translation from the original French, http://nondualite.free.fr/c_jklein.htm)

Those two sentences sum up the entire advaita method and its fruit.

This is one of the few places where there seems to be an observable relationship between jhana practice and nondual practice. I believe William has pointed this out in the past.

Jhana 7 1st- quieter, watcher faded
2nd- watcher fading not as easy
3rd- took a couple of minutes to enter, stay and leave
4th- took several minutes to enter and then the watcher became the sole object, disintegrated and nothing remained. Exited.

OK, good, the watcher went away, leaving nothing. Good description of 7th jhana.

Noticed here there was a push pull in this jhana between conscious will and wanting to do this and adhittana. Felt the surrender to adhittanathe last two entries and that’s what nailed them.

Great!


With this observation Isurrendered and did the entry easily the 5th time and got it and exited.

Jhana 8 very nebulous, seemed to require that complete surrender again to adhittana. Did that and went in and out 4 times but only"knew" it on the way out. 5th time in was known but not thought of---a brightness sorta.

Right, 8th jhana is always a bit sketchy and I never know if I'm doing it right. At this point, having practiced it so many times, I guess that's just what 8th jhana is.

Following I just resolutioned to find the edge and it was a pleasant 20 minutes of wandering all over, hitting a wild energy burst and using jhana 1 to come down and chill out. That for me isan important learning as what got sealed is the separateness of each stratum even though they connect with each other.

That’s it for today. Love, Monica

Fantastic! Looking forward to tomorrow's report.

Kenneth

On June 4th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Same practice today as before.

Adhittana to only advert to all 8 jhanas. Easy to do and sense this time that it’s a very wise way to 1. begin practice and gather calm and 2. to shift from a me- thinking to a surrender mode.

Adhittanato advert, enter, remain 5 breaths or thereabouts and exit each jhana. Doing adhittana for each jhana.

Jhana 1: Easy to doas calm more available today to start. Had been using words like "trying to catch a chicken" before but today more wordless and just exploring of territory in those 5 breaths, 5 different times.

Jhana 2: Entry 1 just joined breath 5 times. Exited
Entry 2 sinking deeper by 4th breath
Entry 3 lighter in concentration
Entry 4 by 5th breath "in" an experience without words

Felt like I was being "taught" something here. Was mostly totally on the five breaths, hardly any thoughts, exit and repeat. Some sense that this is useful in other ways in regular life. Just let it go but still was a felt sense of "being taught something."

Entry 5 same

Jhana 3 Jumble in my mind of what the heck is Jhana 3---it’s this –it’s that-- back and forth......settle in just letting it be what arises
1. just did it
2. sharper focus just looking at exhalations
3. less sharp
4. sharp in the exhale and increase time and space at end of each breath
5. 5 rather deep long breaths

Overall less thinking of what is this jhana into just the experiencing of them. Beginning to grok that I have put the map in my pocket and am just looking around without the map for the first time. This continues to be the experience for the rest of the meditation.

Jhana 4 1.5 breaths deep but diffusing
2. 5 breaths diffuse, noticing calm surround
3. felt 5 breaths more in container of the body
4. felt inside breath and body, felt wider container
5. something completely pulling attention away from breath into a rather nembulous thick but pleasant and calm space.

Jhana 5 getting a little spacey
1. very quiet shallow breaths barely felt
2. 5 breaths totally in background, hardly felt...space predominant
3. same a #2
4. same and now with a resting calm noticed
5. same mostly space predominant

Jhana 6 hard to settle down and make the resolution---wanted to just jump into it but did not
1. knower...space
2. felt solid at beginning to diffuse and ephemeral by end of 5 breaths
3. took about 10 seconds to move from a solid fix on some neck sensations to expanding and entering an open conscious sensed space
4. taking a little longer---deep wanting to explore this space but got there and left anyhow
5. trusting the adhittana more and just relaxing into whatever is present and trusting it to be Jhana 6----very spacious with a strong knower--actually felt like 2 knowers. There is a sense of three characters here. One is a large space, second is the knowing within that space, which actually feels seperate from the third character of me, the watcher.

Jhana 7 1. A "watcher" felt
2. took a while but felt like "it rose to it"
3. bifurcation----a sensing of some body sensations and yet the mind was in another not sure how to explain it space
4. Something very different happening! Rose from body sensations quickly up to a non-material state that ended in a space that I don't know from before and have nothing to say about it.
Something inside asked another part inside for permission to explore this more in more depth at a later time. That ended up occurring later in the final meditation.
5. Not sure but a simple experience of nothing on the edge of a simple experience of something.

Jhana 8 each time a rather out there and then returning, again and again, and in the end wanting to stay and committed to leave so did.

Final meditation- about 50 minutes just wandering in jhana land after setting resolution to do just that.
Wandering and landed in jhana 3 and resting there and then felt a shift that jhana 6 was also present. The way it felt was that I was in calm breathing but served/helped/supported/held by jhana 6 and all that concious spaciousness.
Then landed solely in jhana 6 for a bit and then felt that same support/holding/serving from jhana 8.
Definitely hard to describe this but for sure some verynewterritory for me. Delightful.

OK thats it for today. Again deep thanks and love Monica

On June 4th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Hi Monica,

Awesome report. Not much to add here except keep doing it, 'cause it's working.

Glad that your experience of 7th jhana of nothingness is deepening, as that has been the only one of your descriptions so far that I've had questions about. Try sweeping the searchlight of attention back and forth inside your skull until there is nothing, not even a watcher. When the searchlight of attention (not bright, as in light, but just attention) swings across the place where nothingness lives, you feel the nothingness. There is some shred of alertness monitoring this, it's just not big enough to be called a watcher. I liked your fifth description: "5. Not sure but a simple experience of nothing on the edge of a simple experience of something."

Love,

Kenneth

On June 5th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Same practice as yesterday.

Adverting to all 8:like a gathering of all the disparate energies and a bit of thinking and feeling of each jhana in order.

Jhana 1 Entries 1-3 gathering energy around breath as object
Entry 4 conscious will used here as one of tools to gather focus
Entry 5 mix of gathering attention and looking around this mind strata

Notice a strong similarity in feel of setting adhittana--adverting to---and jhana 1

Jhana 2 1. narrow focus on object
2. total focus and sinking into object
3. light but completeresting on object
4. settling deeper into object-thinking mind diminishing
5.thought--"this is the place where the world gets let go of"---just became breath and pleasant feelings arising

Jhana 3 wondering how this strata differs from jhana 2, whats is essential flavor, what its theme by feel NOT thought
1. just on the whole breath, looking around, not much seen or felt
2.more interest in the exhalations
3. exhalations lengthen, space after lengthens
4. continuation of above
5. being drawn into the space after exhalation complete

Jhana 4 1. breath less felt, more mind space felt but not spacious
2.anchor to breath but outside sounds expanded to and pleasurably enjoyed
3. same as above but expanding more
4. same
5. breath in background now-more totalawareness of allsenses

Jhana 5 Seperating out the adverting function more rather than just entering rather quickly

1.present but nothing very precise, all in background, pleasant feeling
2.breathe barely felt, feeling all in mind space, very peasant
3.same as last one but increased it to 10 breaths
4. very simple space, aware of breathbut its not prominant
5.focused on space with loud outside sounds easily just incorporated in

Now agreed to try to staytill up to 10 breaths in each in and exitphase

Jhana 6 1. lot of space and sense of mindfulness
2.some strobing started in mind space, just watched it
3.pretty stoned and focused on a light filled area of space
4. hard to describe- some agitation but not so edgy or unpleasant, space but its not so vast, knower very strong
5. simple quiet space, known, not vast but not bordered either , something else felt, some edginess but thats not the right word

Jhana 7 1.a rather ordinary but stoned feel, not wanting to conjure anything
2. like a place you shut down the circuits
3. a space where nothing is allowed to arise, a hint of effort here felt doing this, blacking it all out
4. a very alive dead space! That is known to be forced WOW!
5. could enter it but hard to stay so tried again
6. blank but alive

Big thought here: Is this the realm that traumatized people find and escape to? My mother has mastered this and I watch her in a blank space for hours. Totally at peace and the only way she has discovered to get away from her mind.

Jhana 8: 1. A world rich with action but not putting any definition to it
2. mentally quiet but a full place- in contact with it before any words
3. a world of sensing but not doing ANY thing with the sensing including sorta not knowing it as sensing
4. feeling sensing but no thought
. 5. primal soup, the world before the stories, no differentiating
Its like jhana 7 wiped out all the conjuring and opened up the possibility for asense world to emerge before thethinking mind starts to play with it. Feels like I am in some real "lower" and very powerful human functions/strata and that I have never seperated out these strata/functions before.

Went into a 50 minute sitting with resolution to go to thejhana edge of choice sit.
Hung mostly inbetween jhanas 6,7 and 8. Up and down, down and up and finally including all 8. Sorta came out blown away. Feltthe process to be a de-evoluting process into the foundations of the human species and our evolutionary leaps.Each stratum being a different skill or epoch of evolution. I was just so used to it all just working together that never noticed its parts. Wow. And of course could be wrong here but it’s the story of the day.
Thank you again for all of this ......Love, Monica

On June 5th, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Hi Monica,

OK, this is really strong practice. Excellent.

Adverting to all 8: like a gathering of all the disparate energies and a bit of thinking and feeling of each jhana in order.

Here's a concept to play with: Think of adverting, which is access consciousness, as a fly that buzzes from one fruit to the next, gets close enough to smell it, but doesn't land. Entering the jhana soft-style is when the fly makes the decision, commits, and actually lands on one of the fruits. Entering and abiding hard-style is when the fly burrows in and really gorges on the fruit. Sometimes it even lays its eggs in there.

So, continue to do the same practice you are doing, with this tweak: Further explore the spectrum of jhana from "soft" to "hard." See how it's possible to enter jhana just kind of so-so, or it's possible to enter with a (sometimes audible) "ping." Sometimes you lock in so hard that it's clear you've entered an entirely different plane of existence. Other times, you know you've entered and pulled the curtains of the jhana closed behind you, but it's still not what you would call rock-solid jhana. It's not that one is better than the other, but just that it's good to have a feeling for the soft-hard continuum.

One way to cultivate ever-harder jhana, of course, is to resolve to stay in one particular jhana, e.g. the 1st, for ten or fifteen or more minutes with the intention of soaking and bathing in the sensations as the jhana becomes ever more solid. The technical challenge here will be to avoid floating up to the next jhana in the sequence. It's good to start with 1st jhana when doing this kind of practice, as 1st is the easiest to anchor yourself in. My trick is to lightly grasp the end of my nose with an imaginary thumb and forefinger. As long as you sustain that, you can't rise to the 2nd jhana (or any other), because the mental factors of pointing the mind to an object and sustaining the mind on that object have to be abandoned in order to go past 1st jhana.

Went into a 50 minute sitting with resolution to go to thejhana edge of choice sit.
Hung mostly inbetween jhanas 6,7 and 8. Up and down, down and up and finally including all 8. Sorta came out blown away. Feltthe process to be a de-evoluting process into the foundations of the human species and our evolutionary leaps. Each strata being a different skill or epoch of evolution. I was just so used to it all just working together that never noticed its parts. Wow. And of course could be wrong here but its the story of the day.

Terrific. This riding of the jhanic arc is where you make upward progress on the psycho-energetic continuum of enlightenment. The resolution practice is for the purpose of becoming a jhana master, with all that entails, e.g. facility with altered states, ability to use jhana for stress reduction, ability to talk about and teach altered states. All valuable. But this practice of just letting the jhanas develop naturally up and down through the arc is the highest-level jhana practice.

How much more time do we have before you go on retreat? I want to introduce a new wrinkle, but I want to time it properly.

Love,

Kenneth

On June 6th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Hi,

Thankyou mucho for the tweaking. I sure am living in an ever increasingly stoned world but with so far really good ability to be here and not too drifty. We leave Sunday after next. Will be gone from here for three weeks. I will not be able to do this intensity of practice during that time. All of this is taking about 5-6 hours a day, counting a lot of delightful smoozingtime with William and writing these reports. We leave forour three month retreat September 1st so when I get back here on July 5 or so I have till Sept. to try anyguidance you have in mind. This is FABULOUS. A huge THANKYOU!

Adverting: Pleasant shift to a less thought filled way of doing this and after going up, it headed down all on its own so just went with it.

Made the resolution this time to advert to, enter into and remain for 5 MINUTES and then exit. So only one entry per jhana

Jhana 1. Used the imaginary nose pinch (great technigue) Really isolated the pointing of the mind and sustaining of mind to and on object. Sunk ever deeper into pleasure of "pinching my nose". As came out felt the tension, thatbody had been unknowingly holding in orderto do this jhana , release.

Jhana 2 Got deep into riding/rubbing breath --enjoying, knowing OK need some clarification here. It was feeling great then I was pulled to other body sensations, noticed cool skin and recognized that as probably in Jhana 3 so made effort to go back to just breath- no moving away from that. Question is Can Jhana 2 hold wider body sensations or is this the place of rubbing the breath for pure joy?

Jhana 3 Began with this internal voice saying--"Don't force it, less effort needed here"

Began by bouncing from 3 to 2 to 1 and also pulling to 4 and 5. Very interesting. Then a "surrender" felt that this jhana 3 is worthy of total absorption , the PING ? Went deep in --very pleasurable, the whole world was breath and any sensations in the personal arena. I am the chicken totally at oneness with my flock.

Jhana 4 Just as was entering an agitated mind state arose so simply took it in and watched how the mental issue eventually dissolved. This happened several times with different but familiar mind/body states that arose and the Jhana strata slowly surrounds it and it dissolves into ever increasing peace and calm. After leaving realized that I do this in every day life but could not have pulled it out to name it.

Jhana 5 Again it tooka thing I call deep "surrender" that is the entry to deep jhana. Pretty sure now that is my word for your PING! Open, spacious, very present in the pleasure, no real reflecting consciousness here, thoughts really seen and felt as clouds passing by. I would describe this state as the one we have probably had and want to repeat when we say, we want a nice quiet day at the beach. It’s a true vacation mind state!

Jhana 6 Boundless "knowing" consciousness! A real Trip! Eyes strobing/ third eye and crown vibrating. Very spacious but knowing--(whatever the heck that means in this world that I am in while writing this to you)

There is some sort of wobble in my normal sense of I as that part is more and more surrendering to what one part of myself would call its better part.
Jhana 7 A mild effort noticed and then dropped. Nothing. Repeated several times. Definitely not yet a familiar realm. But have a feel for it.

Jhana 8 A whole different level of experience. Like mostly ona razor edge butgoing back and forth to the sides.

At end of time it automatically started to reverse and head down the jhana arc. I decided to just make the resolution to do the after meditation then and there and see where it was going. Its did its thing stopping at each on the way down and I could feel each and then rode it up again and down and speeding up so that I could not exactly use my thinking mind to know where it was but the sensations were moving up and down my spine ata certain point and it ended in about 20 minutes in jhana 3 with sustained very cold hands and burning skin and feelings of neutrality. Albeit when I got up I was still quite stoned.

That’s it for today dear friend and guide and teacher. Love, Monica

On June 7th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Wow, Monica, you are really good at this. And at five hours a day, I imagine you are indeed stoned. :-)

OK, your question:

Can Jhana 2 hold wider body sensations or is this the place of rubbing the breath for pure joy?
Focus has to stay fairly compact to remain in jhana 2. There are no unstable states between jhanas 2 and 3, so the transition between them is seamless. Because of that, it's oh-so-easy to find yourself floating up unbidden from 2 to 3. As soon as the attention goes wide and the skin gets cool, you are in jhana 3, as you correctly divined. So, if you want to stay in jhana 2 you'll have to keep "rubbing the breath for pure joy."

Tweak of the week:

Resolve to go to the sixth jhana, infinite consciousness. Notice the strong sense of watcher. Revel in that for a few moments, then go back down to the 1st jhana. Notice that the watcher is still there. Go to 2nd jhana. Watcher is still there. 3rd jhana, 4th jhana...it doesn't matter... the watcher is still there. Notice that it is the one thing that always looks the same, no matter what jhana you are in. We often don't notice it, precisely because it always looks the same while everything around it changes.

Even when you are in 7th jhana (as you pointed out the other day, apparently anticipating this instruction) there is the witness. It's as thought you suddenly wake up inside this apparent nothingness and say "Hello! What the hell was I thinking? I've been here all along." You can do the same thing during sleep.

Notice that you can become absorbed in the watcher while all the jhanas cycle through it. Try the naturally arising jhanic arc from the point of view of the watcher. The watcher is a trans-jhanic phenomenon.

Have some fun with the silent watcher and let me know.

Kenneth

On June 7th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Not sure it’s even wise to say the following but something strong is happening. Would say am in fruition territory. Not yet but lurking nearby in some high equanimity. Woke around 5 AM in strong equaminity. Know this cause felt good but also a local fiesta is happening. Meaning every few minutes a series of cherry bombs went off next door for the next 5 hours and could go back to sleep, awake with bomb, sleep, awake with bomb--dozens of times. Total calm and happy. Did whole meditation -several hours-with cherry bombs going off just outside my window most of the time.Could feel whenthe bombs going off was over. Some quality left the outer field and I "knew" there would be no more bombs. Was true.No problemo.

Meditation following 5 minute in each jhana practice went as follows. Reporting this first as it relates to above paragraph.

Intention was set for whatever needed to occur in Jhana land to do its thing. Thought--"There is going to be some vippassana staging happening here too"----Witness became boundless---Thought--"Drop the tension of trying to pull her "the witness" out. Know it as one"--Did it and relaxed and the energy just started accelerating --excited, stomach all churned up--all over energies moving up and down. Sometimes knew which jhana or nana(first timesince last week these came in)I was in. Sometimes it was just moving too fast. Ended with an upward energy feel that went to crown. A very complex, very interesting and yet very equanamous 50 minutes. Now has been a few hours since then and yet still feel "anticipatory" and highly charged.

Jhana 1 imaginary nose pinch sweetly settled into

Jhana 2 What a pleasurable state! Very soft and deep and narrowly focused on slow, quiet breathing.

Jhana 3 Had to really work to stay here. Kept drifting to 4 which is sorta where overall mood is at today. Was able to do it. Strong witnessing happened a lot today-per your suggestion. Already know that witness that is a very familiar part of everything but your suggesting it in this whole jhana arena has really amped something up. (Some tweak you are giving this!)
Jhana 4 a calm surround of all the sensations or thoughts that arose. this is Jhana that I was in when perceived the calm arising in neighborhood, knowing without seeing that the cherry bomber had left.
Jhana 5 nice bigspace withsome rather edgy thoughts coming in but the jhana completly subsumes them. Very nice. Poof they are gone and before during and after are all sweet.
Jhana 6 The witness that I know as witness is usually perceived and held in a limited way. In this experience here today, the regular boundaries completely dropped away and IS everything. All that remained was THIS IS BOUNDLESS! A wow time!

Jhana 7 At moments is all reduced to either nothing or attending to nothing--rest of time was noticing something and wiping it off the mind

Jhana 8 Great realm! The world where all arises in a sorta kind of way. Any arising gets neither clung to nor not clung to. A real sweet middle ground. The edge of form arising and form vanishing--no grabbing--no averting. I like 8.

Ok that’s it for today. Again many blessings and thanks for your helping me learn this. A big hug to Beth. Love, Monica

On June 7th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

When all the ingredients are mixed together,
And the dough has risen,
And the oven is hot,
And the bread is in the oven...
Let 'er bake!

No tweaks today.

Love,

Kenneth

On June 8th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Awoke at 2 AM last night burning strongly inside and out and wide awake. Got up and turned on computer and saw your note. Literally baking in the oven, I guess. So nice metaphor and incredibly perfect timing.

Still burning strongly inside my gutand outside just under the skin since getting up this AM. It does change but has a predominance today that is making the day rather challanging. It was very present throughout most of the meditation.

Adverted to all 8. Easy to do.

Resolution again to advert, enter, remain about 5 minutes and exit each jhana.

Jhana 1 nothing new to report
Jhana 2 able to rest just on breath but occasionally pulled to other sensations (seemed to want to pull to J-3)and had to return
Jhana 3 easy to enter this as feels like where I am hanging this morning a lot of the time already--some vipassana 3 characteristics wanting to arise, let that go and remained in J-3. It then slippedinto the peace of J-4 and tried going back to 3. Sorta moving around continued with 2/3/and 4 plus some unpleasant edges.
Jhana 4 deep calm surrounds the turmoil (heat)
Jhana5 a harsher part--dissolves into space---arises again-doubts/ all seen as dissolving fabrications--back to space
Jhana 6 THIS (all the arising manifestations) is not separate!! Very Nice 5 minutes
Jhana 7 Still a bit of needing to wipe away arisings and then as proceeds far more blankness--arisings seen again as conjured and erased till only a strong sense of attending was all there was. Felt if I let go of that J-8 would arise so just stayed with that attending.

Jhana 8 overall thicker today/ felt like was on that edge of neither perceiving /not non perceiving but felt like some barely discerned thinking in the background or something that I really cannot grok what is going on.

Resolution set to meditateandbe open to whatever comes connected to jhana land
Literally did a jhana -nana correlation.Did not orchestrate this, it just happened.Entered a jhana and then the corresponding nanas arose. The vippassana path for me is not so much mindfulness of vibrations and noting but strong mindfulness of thoughts and body sensations and their interconnections if any or not--much more an open awareness of whatever arises so then when say the three characteristics arise they may come after a series of thoughts arise or sensations as a question of do you see the impermanence here, or the suffering and now any sense of a solid separate self. And then its just open awareness again to whatever comes next.
Basically I did two whole cycles from jhana1-nana1 thru jhana 4-nana11 with dukkha stuff just before jhana 4. That was the first time I saw this whole map so clearly with both the jhana and insight parts connected. So hence the first two times I have actually seen myself cycle through. Nice feel.
Last night I had asked myself what do I really want with this awakening besides the burning to just go away. No answer then. But arising throughout this 50 minutes" ..Presence ...as it is....moment to moment----with /withoutthe fight and resistance that I am adding to it."

Well thats it for today. Thankyou! love Monica

On June 8th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Great report, Monica. Let's dive right to the heart of it:

Last night I had asked myself what do I really want with this awakening besides the burning to just go away. No answer then. But arising throughout this 50 minutes" ..Presence ...as it is....moment to moment----with /withoutthe fight and resistance that I am adding to it."
Let's look at the witness as the key to this puzzle. You mentioned that the witness is very familiar to you, and that it became especially clear during jhana practice a couple of days ago. The witness is both the short and long term answer to the problem of the burning as well as the desire to allow "presence...as it is...moment to moment--with/without the fight and resistance" added to it.

We'll call it what it is: you will be satisfied with nothing less than enlightenment. Good. This is a clear, worthy, and attainable goal.

The witness is the key because it will help you to transcend the difficulty in the short term and see it for what it is in the long term. To see it as it is, from a higher level of integration, is to render it no longer a problem.

In order to bring about both the short term transcendence and the long term integration, you have only to become absorbed as the witness. Think of it as a kind of uber-jhana; you can take the knowing as object and achieve absolute subjectivity (everything is subsumed under the experience "I... I...") I don't mean to present this as some sort of nebulous, wordy nonsense. This is a very clear, recognizable, reproducible state. You may already know it, but I want to emphasize that it is completely different from every other state. It is a transpersonal, trans-experiential state.

Knowing is the common denominator of all experience. When knowing knows itself, there is only the witness. It is complete, lacking nothing, wanting only to make love to itself. When the witness knows itself, it isn't involved in any of the objects arising in the mind. It is the very definition of "self-absorbed." It has no stake in whether Monica lives, dies, or burns to a crisp. As such, it is an absolute refuge from dukkha. And that is just the first and least of its benefits.

The second important function of the eternal witness is that it eventually dissolves into pure, non-local awareness. Every moment of pure awareness is buddhahood. Pure awareness includes and is not other than every phenomenon that arises in the universe. There is no higher teaching. On this point, the Advaitists, the Mahamudra teachers, and the Dzogchen teachers are in complete agreement. What's more, I endorse this from my own experience.

You may already know rigpa. If so, the practice of dwelling as the witness until it dissolves into rigpa of its own accord will deepen your experience of rigpa and cause it to be more accessible, more often. On the other hand, maybe what you are calling rigpa is something else. Here is the test: when you turn your mind to rigpa in this moment, are you buddha? If so, you have it. Keep doing it. If not, that should be extraordinarily good news to you because the best is yet to come.

How to do it: Go to the 6th nana. Get the strong sense of witness. Get up from your sitting and walk around the house, retaining the witness at the forefront of your consciousness. Become absorbed in it. Abide in it. "Who am I?" The answer comes back..."I, I.." You may become acutely aware of the eyesight looking out of your head, past your eye sockets and nose. Your inner sounds may become more acute, as a ringing in the ears. "Who am I?"

"I am." That's all. I don't need an excuse or a rationalization to dwell as the witness. I don't need to understand the theory behind it. I don't have time for that, anyway. "I, I..." Thinking arises. Who is the knower of this thought?

"I." There is no need to go beyond that. Those old wise men and women were not mistaken. The eternal witness is the key to this puzzle. There is no suffering when absorbed in the witness. Dwell as the witness and be free. Do not try to make it dissolve into rigpa. That is not your business. It can't be done by you. Dwelling as the witness, on the other hand, can be done by you. The rest is out of your hands and will happen on its own.

All of the practice we are doing with regard to jhana is somehow related to enlightenment, via energy or development or something. We know that it supports enlightenment, but we don't know how. The important thing is that in any given moment, it is up to you to choose enlightenment. Choose to dwell as the witness and trust that it will lead to the end of this tiresome business of being Monica.

Love,

Kenneth

On June 9th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Far too much to report but its really amped up! Read your last e-mail before bed with William and I just started doing absorbing into the witness. Went on all night and awoke in strong witness plus spacious state.Body felt far away. Entered meditation -with an intention different from what I had been doing but I forget what I said. At a certain point all the spacious witness evaporated and a much more primal being realm of sensations and odd thoughts coming and going. Rather intense with cold , shivering (despite a heating pad on my back and it being warm outside) twitching, spasming, diarrhea twice, and mind twisting in on itself in convoluted thinking that usually did not get caught in--too weird. A calm though pervadingmost of thiswhole time.Albeit a lot of thisI would put in the unpleasant realm. Thinking/talking mind not working very well. Eventually ate some food and went up to roof and watched the clouds going by and that brought back a more spacious, witness mind state. At least can talk and think and make a sentence now. Still rather way out there. The only thing that makes sense to me now is when I read and re read what you wrote about absorbing in the witness. Seem to be in the process. Will just continue now being that absorbing in the witness spaceand wherever else this ride is taking meas if I have any say in this matter at this moment as it seems to be on a trip of its own.

Sending muchos love from somewhere out in lala land. Monica

On June 9th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Keep. Doing. Witness.

!

:-)

Mudita,

Kenneth

On June 10th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,
Sure has smoothed out and a shift has occured. All during night practicing being witness happening...

As started the resolution to advert, enter, stay and exit jhana 1, thought said..."you're not gonna use breath as object but witness" duh!
Jhana 1 eyes stayed open naturally--awareness knowing itself..."oh, this is the other side of the mobius strip"
Jhana 2 eyes open still-- a little harder, switching from J1 to J3 but some very sweet rubbings on "the knower, NOT the known. Its a subtler side of this mobius strip for me to learn toknow more.
Jhana 3 eyes closed-- shifted clearly from knower to just watchING and flowING with that---a flow...no real objects...if they arose did nothing with them.

Jhana 4 KNOWING, it is its own subtle layer. I have never really separated it out for very long before (a few seconds at a time)and did it for about a minute or two and liked it a lot.

Jhana 5 a new training seems to happening to "me" learning to live in the KNOWING. A sense of the connection here with the "known" as where I have been living (nirmanakaya?)" Knowing" is where I am learning to live more (sambogakaya?) The space as dharmakaya . I rarely think of these kayas but they popped in this way during the jhana time so reporting it. I am not buying their truth as shown herebut sure is interesting in its own funny way. Most of time spent feeling that subtle layer that is just knowing.....ahhhh.

Jhana 6 took a bit till I let go of the object (knowing) and basically just knew a rather pleasant simple flowing

Jhana 7 At first very easily attending nothing and then got harder to do and eventually tried to go to J8

Jhana 8 5 minutes of watching something vague arisingand becoming something named and then the process reversing to undoing itself and disappearing---two examples 1. a jagged sensation becoming an almost nasty thought to just it falling away and disappearing 2. a sense that formed into what could be called pleasure and then even before it was fully named it started to just disappear and not exist.

Final meditation rather short but interest seemed to be in bringing this practice right into life. Had a talk with William and while deeply listening to him was quite able to just be the watching. Deep resonance to In knowing, there is just knowing, no knower and nothing known. Not that I fully grok that yet but its like the name of the course you enrolled me in and I am taking.

Sending love and hope you can share in some of the happiness I feel today. Monica

On June 10th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

Hi Monica,

It will be tempting now to "let it down," sure that you will be able to "get it back." Instead, think of every moment of pure witness or pure awareness as an antidote to lifetimes of heedlessness. You are de-conditioning a very large chunk of dukkha. The sun is out, now let the ice melt.

Stay alert, dwell as the witness. If the witness dissolves into pure, passive, non-local awareness, let it be. But as soon as the wall starts to form again, partitioning Monica off from the rest of creation, immediately ask "Who am I?" and dwell as the witness. Your freedom is equal to your constancy in dwelling as the witness or allowing pure awareness.

Being alert doesn't mean doing anything, per se. It means not doing something. It means not building the wall. You are not other than all of creation. Monica is an idea. A good idea, to be sure, but an idea nonetheless. Be whole.

Mudita,

Kenneth

On June 11th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

Seemed to continue witness process through the night and awoke in "Monica" world. A bit daunting but a bit later noticed slipping back into witness and ease arising. Then read your note from yesterday--again that remarkable timing! Began jhana practice, bringing witness as object .
Jhana 1 I am the witness go directly to jhana 2
Jhana 2 something so clear and free in the mind/heart. back to J-1. Dumped out into "Monica"--found the witness--something softer than the Monica space, not so coarse--softer/gentler/happier/contented/equanimous

Jhana 3 "becoming the watcher” in and out and in and out--beginning to see how it happens
Jhana 4 I am deep calm--very nice

Jhana 5 turned into a real practical magical guiding/instruction realm! How to get to witness from a narrow constricted place--"choose something subtler than a dukkha piece---move to that and ask "Who am I--remember a certain experience that mimics the witness that I have fairly easy recall to--ha!
very spacious realm--a huge unknown world!
Jhana 6 small to vast--all of it--training again in how to do this.
Jhana 7 mostly wiping everything noticed away--just moments of no thing. Sort of a no world.
Jhana 8 sorta a yes/no world, just breath going in and out to nowhere.

Open sit. Continues the training from separate self to witness --I AM . Feel fragile in its coming and going--its is certainly not the old me running this show--more like a gift that is happening. a joy, best thing I know--no suffering.

Thankyou again. Love, Monica

On June 12, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

"Who am I?"--remember a certain experience that mimics the witness that I have fairly easy recall to--ha!

That's it. You can do this all day long. When the craving and aversion start creeping back in, that is your cue. "Something wrong, tickling at the back of the mind...hmm, what is going on? Pain, unhappy...something vague...what? Aha! I forgot!" But now you remember. No problem. All is forgiven. Remember how the watcher feels, use a pointer like "Who am I?" or whatever works for you today, and go directly to the witness.

Be especially meticulous about maintaining the witness while doing walking meditation and daily life activities. You will be able to bridge the gap between retreat and non-retreat and dwell as the witness anytime. People might notice that you are a little odd, but they will like it. When you feel confident moving between witness and rigpa, you can do rigpa instead of witness when you are around people. It doesn't make you look as weird. :-)

Love,

Kenneth

On June 12th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth,

It was the combination of calm, a touch (maybe a bit more than a touch)weird and only wise when speaking that drew us to you in December. So I have no fear about becoming that sort of flame. I shall report today and tomorrow but as we leave at 5 AM on Sunday morning this phase must reach its end. What an incredible adventure it has been for me and I am grateful, more than you can know or even need to bother to know, for your role in it. While on the road with my family for a weekand teaching non-stop for two weeks, I shall have ample opportunity to try to be witness. I do not take my computer with me soafter tomorrow I shall say adios and reconnect when I return July 5th.

Again working throughout night on being witness
Resolution to advert to all 8 jhanas. Easy and when got to 8 decided it would be good idea to go backwards this time. Turned out to be a great idea!
Jhana 8 yes/no in/out
Jhana 7 blank! need for subtle wiping away of thoughts--presence felt
Jhana 6 ITS TRUE --THE WITNESS IS BOUNDLESS! like the waves of the ocean--a tad trite in the writing but not in the experiencing--7minutes just within THAT! HOME!
Jhana 5 picking up some boundaries here--boundless but harder to do in some way

Jhana 4 narrowing into "life here" more--witness is just the whole barnyard and its OK
Jhana 3 I am watching in a little world of local time/space/senses
Jhana 2 Just the witness of "her" world--with its impermanence, suffering and sensing of a seperate sense of self to not. Deep sense of compassion also noticed as part of the witness.
Jhana 1 The balance and advice to "do not absorb into your own world or thoughts--stay present and absorb into witness! A sensing that this may be the strata of mind to keep as nearby as possible throughout the day in order to keep the balance.
Open sit to go where it needs:
Lovely half hour of mostly just being in witness with rigpa very close. Probably first time I ever did a sustained non-distracted non-meditation--only that has to be incorrect becauseI was in meditation. Anyhowdoes this have to make sense?!

Sending you love and deep gratitude. Monica

On June 12th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:
Monica, the pleasure is all mine and it is I who am grateful to you. Your dedication, enthusiasm, and natural talent are an unbeatable combination and it's thrilling for me to see the progress you have made in just 17 days.

There is nothing for me to add at this point as you know exactly what to do to extend the witness into daily life. I look forward to tomorrow's report as well as the reconnection on July 5th.

You and William have found a special place in my heart and it's easy to see why Beth holds you both so dear.

Hasta mañana,

Kenneth

On June 13th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Attempted to do the same practice as have been doing and it switched a bit to less concern about exiting each Jhana and writing a few notes for report to" lets see how they DO flow together." Only writing anything down if that arose.

Nothing till Jhana 3 wider range witness. In some way its not watching the wider range , it IS the wider range

Jhana 5 empty space found I am thinking of people who feel like they live mostly from this space and just thinking of them brings me into the space
Could feel that the grooves are developing up and down these jhanas.
Felt to try to go to jhanas above the 8 so rolled up my eyes and entered a space. Hard to differentiate the two. Stayed in about 10 minutes. Sensations felt around third eye, and crown, sometimes both sometimes just one or the other. An easy going, very soft, nice sweet space(s).

Open meditation: Calm --then energy increasing while still calm and then blipped into a space have not been for 10 years. The most AT HOME and very normal place. Nothing needs anything here yet whatever is is fine. Felt the feel that this is the place of done what needs to be done as that is what I felt and those words arose. Then fell down a few veiled notches but unlike years ago, the fall was to not so far away. Strong witness really learning itself. A great day. Thats it for now. Thankyou and adios for three weeks, my friend and guide. Love, Monica

On June 13th, 2009, Kenneth Folk wrote:

¡Buen viaje, amigos míos!

Nos vemos cuando regresen.

Abrazos,

Kenneth

On July 9th, 2009, Monica wrote:

Dear Kenneth and Beth,

Returned home late Sunday night. Quite a nice trip with a lovely calmish undertone due to all that practice beforehand. I think my family will be disappointed if I ever stop doing this shamata practice. I have never been known as calm.

So now home. Have been just sitting in open awareness for about 90 minutes each morningwithwitness coming in ever clearer. The no dog in this fight is an ideaand felt experiencethat repeats itself now frequently throughout my day as more and more that is noticed.

Love, Monica